Marriage on the Rock – Session Two: The Four Foundational Laws of Marriage

So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:21–25

So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6

DVD Listening Guide – 44 minutes

The Four Foundational Laws of Marriage:

1. The Law of Priority: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother. . .

· When we marry, we relinquish the highest position of commitment and devotion previously given to our parents in order to give that position to our spouse. Other than God, our spouse has first –place in our life.

Ways to show The Priority of Marriage:

A. Sacrifice

B. Time

C. Energy

D. Attitude

2. The Law of Pursuit: . . . and hold fast to his wife. . .

· In marriage, we are to cleave unto our spouse. This means we are to zealously pursue our spouse and cling to our spouse for the rest of our lives.

· Marriage is work.  You have to work at it!

· When the grass looks greener on the other side it’s time to water your own yard.

· The reason the grass looks greener on the other side is you can’t see the poop from here.

· Our relationship is more important than the issues.


3. The Law of Possession: . . . and they shall become one flesh. . .

· Marriage is a complete union in which all things previously owned and managed individually are now owned and managed jointly.

· God created marriage to share everything.

· Marriage is about sharing.

· Marriage is not about independence but interdependence.


4. The Law of Purity: . . . And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

· God intends for there to be complete openness between husband and wife. Sin destroys this openness. Therefore we need to obey the law of purity.


Write in one sentence what you will take away from tonight’s session:

From the Book

Chapter 2:

"The sound of ‘crashing’ marriages around us does not shout that marriage does not work but demonstrates the lack of solid foundations to those marriages. . . As Jesus said, the rain is going to come and the wind is going to blow on everyone. However, the promise for those whose lives are built upon the truth of God’s Word is stability through life’s challenges and changes. His Word is a solid foundation upon which we can build successfully."

Chapter 3:

"God designed marriage to operate as the second most important priority in life, coming next to your personal relationship with Him. If we put marriage in any position other than the one God has instituted, the marriage does not work."

Chapter 4:

"Why is it that we will work so hard to impress total strangers but will not work at all to please the ones we have vowed before God to love and cherish for the rest of our lives?"

Chapter 5

"The greatest benefit of putting everything we have into marriage is that we now share everything. We belong to each other totally. There is not a door we are not allowed to enter, so we share life completely."

Chapter 6:

"When a robber wants to get into your home, he doesn’t need you to leave every door and window open. He only needs one way inside. If he can gain only one entry point, he can burglarize your entire house."


For Further Study

1. Read Chapters 2-6 of Marriage on the Rock

2. Identify three things that might be competing for your time and energy as a top priority over your spouse. Ask your spouse how you can make him or her feel valued.

3. Make a list of ways you can start to purse one another as husband and wife. Here are some thoughts to get you started.

· Call or text during the day just to see how each other is doing.

· Write a note of encouragement.

· Give a "just because" gift.

· Plan a date night.

4. Rate how selfish you perceive yourself in the following areas with 1 being not selfish and 5 being very selfish. Share and discuss answers. If you see any problem areas, brainstorm some specific changes you could make together to move toward sharing all things.

· Time 1 2 3 4 5

· Money 1 2 3 4 5

· Decision-making 1 2 3 4 5

· Chores 1 2 3 4 5

· Activity Choices 1 2 3 4 5

5. Reflect on areas of your marriage where you are not being open and honest with one another. Apply the following steps to restore purity to your marriage:

i. Take responsibility for your own behavior.

ii. Do not return sin for sin.

iii. Admit your faults.

iv. Forgive by releasing yours spouse from personal judgment and by yielding your right of retaliation or punishment.

v. Speak the truth in love.

vi. Pray for each other.

vii. Seek righteous fellowship.`


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